Where the hell are they?
by perplex777
Summary: Post 1x13 - some cannon divergence as I'm in the UK and haven't see the new episodes – just going off the clips/trailers I've watched, plus the spoilers and GIFs I've seen… Bellarke (of course!) If you want to skip ahead… Chapter 4 sees their first post-reunion interaction. Chapter 5 has their first kiss.
1. Shattered

So this is post 1x13 with elements taken from what I know is happening in Season 2. Probably some cannon divergence as I'm in the UK and haven't see the new episodes – just going off the clips/trailers I've watched, plus the spoilers and GIFs I've seen…

This is my imagining of what's going through their heads and how things pan out. If you want to skip ahead… Chapter 4 sees their first post-reunion interaction. And I think Chapter 6 (not yet written) is where the good lovin' will really begin.

Contains contextually appropriate swearing, and (eventually) sexual content. If anyone would like to beta the next chapters, do let me know.

* * *

><p><strong>- Chapter 1 - Shattered<strong>

As she pushed the piece of broken glass against the girl's throat she caught a glimpse of her reflection… Clarke Griffin. That young girl drawing on the floor of her cell a little over three weeks ago... there's no way she'd recognise the Clarke Griffin staring back at her now.

_Three weeks, was that all? My God, she'd coursed an orbit in a heartbeat, seen and done too much in an attempt to survive and keep everyone else alive._

She manoeuvred the girl to block out the reflection. It was distracting to see who she'd become. She couldn't face that Clarke right now... couldn't afford to think about how dark she'd gone. All she had to do was find Monty, find the others, and get the hell out of there.

"Who are you people? Answer me! How many of us are here? Where are they? Say something!"

* * *

><p>Bellamy came to lying on his back in the dark, the ringing in his ears blocking out any other noise. He couldn't hear Finn's hacking cough, or his own ragged breathing – the sound of his battered body struggling to take in air. As he tried to catch his breath through the pain, all he could do was lie back staring at the sky.<p>

That's when he saw it. A shooting star... a real one! _Clarke._

This time he knew exactly what to wish for.

_May we meet again._

* * *

><p>She was in another white cell, identical from the last but for the painting on the wall. This time they'd tied her up. <em>Back in a detention again… I really mustn't make a habit of this<em>, she'd thought wryly as they'd locked her in. They knew now not to underestimate the blonde girl. She would fight, she would attack, she would think nothing of hurting anyone who got between her and her people... no matter how scared they looked or how much they whimpered in fright.

_This me. This is who I am now – Clarke Griffin of Earth. I've done terrible things; hell… I'm capable of worse than I could ever have imagined. And there's no going back. I won't let them hurt my friends - my people._

Bellamy flickered through her mind before she managed to push him back out for a moment. "Brave Princess," he said, this time with a pride that shattered her heart.

She didn't need a mirror to see herself clearly, and this time she couldn't hide from the image that confronted her. She felt the full force of the self-loathing she'd seen flicker through her eyes earlier. This time it broke her.

She'd closed the door when they were still out there. Finn, Bellamy, and God knows how many more who'd been fighting to get back.

She began to sob uncontrollably, unable to stem the torrent of thoughts – the disgust – which began to overwhelm her.

She'd lost Finn once already, and now he really was dead, both times because of her. First she'd failed to save the Grounder girl, then he'd gone after Bellamy and she'd closed the door on him... on them both.

Bellamy. _Oh God! Bellamy!_ How could he be dead? How was it even possible for that big, strong, over-protective ass of a man to be gone? She should have kept the door open. She should have ordered Miller to close the door and gone out to him instead of Finn. Anything but what she'd done. Why hadn't she gone to him? She had been paralysed when she saw him fall. "He's killing him!" she'd screamed. _But it was me - I killed him - I let him die._

"I'm a monster," she gasped out between shuddering breaths, hollow eyes staring at the floor before tears overwhelmed her again. There was no one there to correct her, he was gone. _I told him I needed him, but he needed me and I let him down. He needed me… I failed him… I've lost him and it's all my fault._

Hugging her knees to her chest she began to rock. _I need you Bellamy. I can't do this on my own. How am I going to get us out of here without you? How am I supposed to do anything without you?_

It was a while before she realised that the keening sound was coming from herself, and a good while longer before she fell into a fitful sleep with tears still glistening on her cheeks. It wasn't until the next day that she decided they couldn't be dead – not really. This time she wouldn't let them down. She'd get everyone the hell out of here, find Bellamy, Finn, and Octavia, and make everything right.


	2. Time

**- Chapter 2 - Time**

If only Bellamy were here. He'd have her back. There's no way he'd trust 'President' Dante Wallace either.

Raven would have seen through him too, she was sure of it. It had been a punch to the gut to find out she wasn't with them in this place. Talk about being on a walk without a tether, she needed someone like Raven on her side. Just as with Finn, Octavia, and Bellamy, Clarke refused to believe anything other than that she was safe and well on the outside, fighting to get them out.

_Why doesn't anyone else get it?_ _This isn't a sanctuary it's a fucking prison!_ She stabbed a carrot with her fork a little too aggressively, sending it flying across the table.

She would think nothing of hurting anyone who got between her and her people… but that didn't work anymore. It was the kids who were in her way now. They wouldn't follow her, didn't believe her, couldn't see they were all in danger. _God!_ _I wish Bellamy were here!_

* * *

><p>Damn, it was good to have his sister back. No one should mess with the Blakes, and this time it was O's turn to jump to his defence.<p>

"Where do you get off, huh?! You talk like the sun shines out of Finn's arse. Hypocrites! The truth is, his little spacewalk cost the Ark a month's oxygen so those 320 deaths are on his head as much as Bell's. Without Bellamy and Clarke all your kids would have been dead within days so just stay the hell out of our way!"

She grabbed his arm and muttered "Come on Bell" as she dragged him away from the camp.

He was grateful for her intervention, but glad Finn hadn't been there to hear it. Finn had saved his life, sure, but that kid had surprised him – had really come through for him before Octavia came back to fight his corner like a wildcat. Without Finn's dogged defence, and the back-up of Monroe and Sterling, he'd have been surprised if the Ark would have let him stay, or maybe even live. With Jaha cut-off, probably dead by now, and without Clarke to speak for him again, his pardon hadn't been worth a byte. _Hell, I'd probably still be in cuffed in the airlock now._

Not that he'd even wanted to stay at first – he'd wanted to get the hell away and find Clarke and Octavia. _Chancellor Kane… Camp Jaha… It'd be funny if it wasn't… just wrong. They think they're so decent… acting as though they didn't sent a hundred children down to Earth to die… as if their beloved system hadn't been corrupt as hell… Shumway made me try and kill Jaha for fuck's sake… and Diana Sydney's little coup almost killed them all! They act as though they haven't lied to everyone again and again… they floated Clarke's father and nearly floated Abby instead of actually trying to fix the air supply… They have no right to decide what's right or wrong anymore… not when could believe it was OK to lock Clarke up for knowing too much, or Octavia just for being born!_

Yes, it was good to have Octavia back, she helped him stay sane in this place. And as everyone's eyes followed him with daggers he was even glad to have Lincoln around. The poor guy attracted even more wary glances and outright evil eyes than he did. But no one messed with the Grounder on his watch, Lincoln had saved O's life… they were good. They'd even formed a weird little trio. O looked out for Bellamy, Bellamy looked out for Lincoln, and Lincoln looked out for O. He thanked his lucky stars she'd not only proved how well she could look after herself, but that she'd managed to find someone even more protective of her than he was… it had meant he could take a step back, and that had done wonders for their relationship. Lincoln loved her so much that he'd die for her… that was good enough for Bellamy.

Right now O was in full-on protective mode and she was going to do everything in her power to make things alright for him. With Clarke and the kids still gone things could never be 'good', but they could certainly be better.

Abruptly she turned to face him, the serious look on her face reminding him briefly of the imperious little girl who used to demand he tell her a story, or that he pretend to be Jingles McBell the pony again and give her a piggy back ride.

The warm feeling quickly disappeared. "Bell, we can't keep going like this! It's killing you. It's time we did something to get them back."

"I know… I can't stand this place anymore." She was right, it was time. He sighed under the weight of the responsibility he had to shoulder alone. "Clarke would've known what to do."

Tough love was in order. "Clarke's not here Bell. I know you think you need her, but you've got this… you're going to bring her home… And Kane? He can go to hell! You're our leader, we've got your back… so what's the plan big brother?"

* * *

><p>Finally! They were getting out.<p>

It wasn't until she'd found Anya that things had started to change. At last she'd been able to show them she'd been right all along. _Fucking savages! _They acted so superior and civilised… curators of the lost world's culture… all of that was bullshit if they could treat another human being like that. They might have saved the world's treasures, but they'd clearly gained nothing of real value from their mutual ancestors. Even if history lessons in the Mountain had taught these people nothing about the horrors of colonialism and genocide, surely you didn't have to be raised on the Ark to know that what they were doing to the Grounders… to Anya… was sick and inhuman – it was just wrong!

She'd made peace with Jasper. She'd tried not to blame him for turning her in. She could understand why he'd chosen to believe the Mountain Men – they'd provided delicious food, shelter, and clothes; not to mention that they'd reunited him with Monty. He'd been tempted by the easy choice, not realising it was offered by the devil. At the end of the day though, he'd disappointed her. "The biggest threat to us is you Clarke," he'd said, when all she'd ever done since they'd arrived on this God forsaken planet was try to protect them all!

In the end though, he'd more than made amends… "Ready to be a badass Jasper?" _That's my boy!_

He and Monty had brought Maya in. She'd been horrified to learn what her people had been doing to the Grounders. That frightened girl who'd first encountered Clarke with a shard of glass to her throat, and just a few hours later had pulled a gun on her it return, was now Clarke's ally. They were an odd trio really, the Mountain Girl, the Grounder, and the Princess – but the enemy of my enemy is my friend. Clarke had even begun to feel that they could be proper allies and genuine friends on the outside. Anya was the catalyst, she was the leader, and Maya was the key to getting out.

* * *

><p>Concern tinged his voice as he turned to Abby. "Does Kane know about this?"<p>

"Kane doesn't need to know."

"You know there'll be consequences. You can't give us guns and expect him to take it calmly. He'll probably see it as treason."

Her expression was fixed, she gave a grim nod and stated firmly, "You're the best chance I have of saving my daughter. There is no choice. This has to be done."

He nodded.

"I'll do what I can to buy you time. There's a few of the parents that are coming with you. Finn knows who they are, he'll tell them when to meet you. When you find her… make sure she knows I would have come for her too… but I had to stay behind to give the rest of you a chance. Don't…." Her voice cracked. "Please… just don't let her hate me more than she already does. OK?"

"She…" He didn't know what to say... "When Clarke saw the Exodus ship crash… when she was at the crash site… Look… I know she loves you Abby." _Even if she can't forgive you yet._

"Bring my baby home Bellamy."

He nodded once more before striding away.


	3. Light

**- Chapter 3 - Light**

And now here she was, Anya supported between her and Monty, while Maya led the way to the surface and to freedom through the ventilation shaft, her people streaming behind them, Jasper bringing up the rear.

Before they stepped back out into the air she turned to face them all.

"When we get out of here we have to be silent. Stay alert. Follow me. We head straight back to camp and gather anything left behind in the dropship. Then we move on to the sea." _If they're not back at camp, that's where they'd go next… to wait for us._ She didn't say this out loud – they could no longer deny she was right about the President and his cronies, but they still thought she was crazy for believing that Bellamy, Octavia, Raven and Finn were all OK… that they would be waiting for them to come back home.

"We have to move fast. It won't take them long to come after us. Stay safe everyone!… Let's go."

* * *

><p>He was back home, or at the charred remains of it at least. Bellamy stood staring at Abby's message to her daughter.<p>

CLARKE PLEASE COME HOME 22KM SOUTH/SW – MOM

_Please_. His mind flashed back to the last time he'd been here. His disbelief that they were leaving… taking him away. And he recalled the confusion, the desperation in his voice when he spoke with Finn, "What? This is where they'll come back!"

Well they hadn't come, so it was time to go and get them. He turned to the others, "Let's go."

* * *

><p><em>Shit!<em> They were unarmed. They'd not even made it back to camp yet, and the Mountain Men were already on them. _Guess they weren't so scared of radiation after all… _She shouldn't have been surprised, it was just another one of their lies.

On the upside, without the Hazmat suits they couldn't use the smoke bombs.

On the downside they were gaining fast, whereas Anya was slowing her down. Not that Clarke was about to abandon her to their 'mercy'. Anya was coming with them or they'd go down fighting.

"Stop running. Surrender now and w-" That's when the chaos really started. The lying bastard with the voice amplifier had been cut off by a spear to his chest.

Then an arrow felled one of the kids, she couldn't see who. "Reapers!" she screamed, unsure whether her cry or Anya's echo had sounded more terrified.

* * *

><p>The second they'd heard the noise, they were off.<p>

Bellamy made it to the clearing just in time to see her fall. The sound he made was barely human as he charged forward.

"Get off of her!"

The swift impact of the butt of his gun had more effect than words on the girl that had been about to slash Clarke's throat.

"It's OK Clarke. I've got you." Her eyes rolled back in her head. She was out cold. _NoNoNoNoNo_… "Come on Clarke stay with me."

She was so light, lighter than he could ever have imagined. He couldn't know she'd been starving herself for weeks before Maya had been able to intercept their food before it was drugged.

Clarke had stopped bleeding, and Lincoln had done his best to treat her, but they had to get her back to camp, and fast.

"I've got you Clarke. Everything is going to be alright." _It just has to be!_


	4. Promise

** - Chapter 4 - Promise**

Abby had been left tied up all night. She was being publically punished as she'd refused to show any remorse for her actions. A part of her wondered if Kane felt guilty about doing this to her… she wasn't certain about anything anymore. Either way, he was resolute in his decision. _No special treatment when you commit treason I guess._

There was a commotion in the distance. Frantic shouts, cries of alarm and confusion. She kneweven before the cries turned into ones of joy… _They're back. _

"Clarke!" she screamed, desperate, struggling against the ropes. "Clarke! Clarke! I'm over here!"

Kane sprinted over, the regret already written on his face. "I'm so sorry Abby." He began to cut her free.

"What! What happened? Where is she? Where's Clarke?"

"She's been hurt. Jackson and Lincoln are with her, but she needs you now."

The aches from her restraints forgotten in that instant, she pelted back to camp. Kane was right behind her. "Get Abby anything she needs! That's an order. You heard me. Move!"

* * *

><p>"Mom? Where's Daddy? Where's Wells?"<p>

_Why does it hurt so much? _She couldn't work it out, if she was dead, why was she in so much pain?

Maybe she was in hell? _Doesn't make sense…_ Murphy sure, but Raven, Finn and Bellamy? They wouldn't be here…

She blacked out none the wiser.

* * *

><p>Abby turned to the anguished man hovering over the operating table. "Bellamy, you don't have to be here for this."<p>

"I am not leaving!"

* * *

><p>Bellamy refused to leave her side. They'd tried to take him away for questioning, but even Kane relinquished when we saw how hard he fought to stay. Not to mention that Kane had more urgent battles to fight, what with trying to defend the camp from the Reaper attack. Bellamy didn't have the energy to be spiteful, though Kane was finally forced to appreciate just a fraction of what he'd been through – was finally learning the hard way just how difficult it was to be a leader on Earth! But no, all Bellamy cared about was Clarke getting better. <em>She has to get better. She has to…<em>

He wasn't always alone. Abby, Finn and Jackson in particular all kept long watches over her, and they all tried to persuade him to get some proper rest. _No way! Not until she's awake. Not until I know she's OK. _He barely let go of her hand and slept in a chair by her side. "I'm not letting her out of my sight."

* * *

><p>Clarke was awake! <em>Thank God! <em>

She was trying to say something… her throat was too dry.

"Hey there Princess," he said softly, "let me get you something to drink." Bellamy cradled her head gently and trickled some water between her lips.

She smiled and managed a whisper. "I was right… you're OK." Her eyes fluttered closed and she gave a contented sigh before drifting back into a peaceful sleep.

The relief was overwhelming – the pent up tension finally finding release – he wiped the tears away roughly with the back of his hand. _I should go and tell Abby_, but he didn't want to break the spell. When she arrived he didn't even have to say the words, she simply read the pure joy written on his face.

* * *

><p>It was a while before she could comprehend everything.<p>

She'd been shot and suffered a blow to the head. Bellamy had carried her back. She was safe. She'd been unconscious for days.

She wasn't back home. This wasn't their camp. She was in the Ark… But the Ark was on the ground... Part of it was anyway – Camp Jaha… Kane was the Chancellor... And Murphy was here, serving a 'restorative justice sentence', working with her Mom.

Her Mom was alive. She hadn't been on the Exodus ship after all. She was here. She was OK…

The Reapers seemed to have forced Wallace's soldiers to crawl back into their mountain. And they weren't at war with the Grounders anymore, at least not with all of them. Anya and Lincoln's allies had joined with them.

Bellamy and Lincoln were actually friends! Bellamy and Finn were friends too! And she hadn't dreamed him. Bellamy was here, by her side – he really was OK…

"And who'd have thought I'd have missed you calling me Princess!"

That was just the tip of the iceberg of what she had to take in…

* * *

><p>Needing some fresh air, and hoping she might actually manage to eat something today, Bellamy left Clarke sleeping and went out to get some food for her, Jackson and himself. Jackson gave him an encouraging nod, relieved to see he finally had enough faith in Clarke's on-going recovery to entrust her to someone else's care for more than a couple of minutes.<p>

Clarke stirred and looked over to where she'd last seen Bellamy catching up on some much needed sleep in the corner of the room. His make-shift bed was empty, he was nowhere in sight.

Retching, she was almost physically sick.

It wasn't Jackson's shout for help, but Clarke's scream of distilled terror that brought them running.

Just outside the door, Bellamy got there first. He gathered her to him as he used to do with Octavia when she'd had a panic attack from hiding in the floor. "Sssh… sssh…" he soothed, rocking her gently. "I'm here. I've got you. It's alright. I'm here."

He was vaguely aware of Abby's arrival, of Jackson apologising for scaring her. Finn appeared too, but Jackson ushered them both away, telling them that Bellamy had got this one and leaving him to it.

She'd curled up into him, tears still falling. "I woke up and you were gone. I…" He struggled to hear her she was whispering so quietly, almost as if she didn't realise she was speaking aloud. "I didn't know where you were." Her voice was hollow, she sounded so frightened. "I thought I'd lost you again."

He rubbed slow circles on her back, doing his best to calm her. "I'm sorry Clarke. I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have left you… but you know I'll always come back right? Always!"

She refused to accept it, shaking her head and burying it further, trying to get closer as if she worried he might somehow disappear. "You can't promise that. Something might happen. What if you can't come back?"

"Then I promise I'll always try."

He waited, continuing to sooth her as best he could… "OK" she replied, "… Me too."

"Well, that's good enough for me Princess."

* * *

><p>She'd calmed down, but she still wasn't right.<p>

"Come on Clarke, talk to me."

She buried herself into his chest again to avoid meeting his eyes, and taking solace from his solidity and warmth, and from the steady beating of his heart.

"Why are you here? Why don't you hate me? You…" She took a deep breath, "You were dead… That Grounder was killing you, but it was me… I finished you off the second I closed that door. You were d-dead… all my fault… so s-s-sorry Bellamy."

The last few words were a little lost amongst the tears, but he got the gist.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully Clarke," he lifted her chin, forcing her to meet his gaze. "Everyone would have died that night if it weren't for you. You gave us a chance when we tried to head to the coast, and you saved us all when you worked out we could blast off. We'd all be dead if it weren't for you. You did the right thing. You made a tough choice, but it was the only choice you could make. We'd all have been slaughtered if you hadn't closed that door. You gave everyone a chance."

She hugged him fiercely. "But you could have died!"

"You can't get rid of me that easily!" But, he sensed it was too soon to make light of it, too raw for her.

"You did the right thing Clarke. You were strong…" he pressed a gentle kiss on the top of her head, "and brave…" he added, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "My brave, brave Princess…" The kiss on her forehead lingered a little as he revelled in the pleasure of holding her to him and inhaling the sweet smell of her hair.

* * *

><p>Night had fallen fast. Clarke was on her back, eyes closed trying to get to sleep. Once again he was in his chair, holding her hand. There was no way she'd fall asleep without it tonight.<p>

Not for the first time, he thought about all of those fairy tales he'd used to read to Octavia. She really did look like a Princess, lying on white sheets, golden hair fanned out on the pillow, long eyelashes fluttering every now and then against her cheeks showing that she was still awake.

He kissed her palm, his thumb gently stroking the inside of her wrist. He'd simply had to. There was no universe in which he didn't long to be closer to her in that moment… to make everything alright for her. If he could show her how much he loved her, perhaps she might begin to stop hating herself. Not that he was conscious of the motive, he simply followed the yearning on impulse.

She turned to look at him through hooded eyes. Smiling, she reached across and began to absentmindedly run her fingers through his hair, twirling the curls through her fingertips. _So soft._

They both yawned. "You look exhausted Bell," she said drowsily.

"Considering how long you've been asleep, you don't look particularly refreshed yourself," he teased.

She scooted over to make room for him. "Come on." His heart skipped a beat but he didn't hesitate.

Clarke sighed contentedly as he wrapped his arms around her waist, she felt so safe.

"Goodnight Princess."

"Night Bell."

It was the best night's sleep either had had for months, maybe even years.

* * *

><p>They woke up at almost the same time. Clarke was wrapped in his arms, and he had the biggest possible grin plastered on his face. She couldn't help but smile back.<p>

_God I've missed that smile_."Well don't I feel honoured! I don't think I've seen you this happy since we found the guns."

He shifted and stretched a little before answering. "Trust me Princess, that didn't even come close."


	5. Better

- Chapter 5 - Better

Clarke shifted uncomfortably. If felt awkward being alone here with Finn. _Why does it feel this weird?_ She could still remember how he'd used to make her feel – secure and happy... but now? His efforts made Clarke all the more aware of how much her feelings for him had changed. His gift had made things worse, serving only to remind her of the carvings he'd once given to Raven and herself – his betrayal.

"Thank you, it's lovely," she managed, before placing it gingerly on the table beside her, far enough back that she wouldn't have to look at it when she was sat up in bed.

"I haven't had the chance to tell you how glad I am that you're back," he began tenderly, taking hold of her hand in both of his. "I couldn't bear it Clarke… not knowing where you were… and then wondering what they were doing to you... how I'd get you out…"

Smothered – she felt smothered. She tried to smile sympathetically, but her chest felt tight – constricted – she tried, but she just couldn't make herself feel for him… not like he wanted her to. He was so earnest and intense, staring at her with those big, doleful eyes….

He was too close, it was too much. She couldn't deal with all the feelings he was directing at her, not when she simply did not return them anymore.

She'd already tensed up, now she pulled her hand from his grasp and physically pushed herself further away from him. His expression hardened.

It had been quite a shock when he'd walked onto the ward the night before to visit Clarke, only to find her asleep, wrapped in Bellamy's arms. A wave of jealously had overwhelmed him, and he'd spent a restless night seething – trying to fathom out Bellamy's motives. Over these past weeks they'd started off as reluctant allies, then become good friends – it had been difficult to say which of them had been the more surprised! They had been united in their determination to get Clarke back, and by their willingness to risk their own lives in order to save hers. _She's better than both of us._ But Finn had been so focused on trying to bring her home that it had never dawned on him – Bellamy had been just as desperate as him when they'd realised she'd been taken. He had never stopped to question exactly why Bellamy's need to get her back had matched his own.

He tried to convince himself…_ Bellamy doesn't matter. This is between Clarke and me. She's just vulnerable right now. She's been gone so long. She just needs to be reminded that she's got me now. She doesn't need him. _"You know I'm here for you Clarke… if you ever want to talk about anything."

He looked at her expectantly. She said nothing… just continued to look uneasy.

"You can tell me anything you know."

He went to squeeze her shoulder reassuringly. She flinched away.

He let out the breath he hadn't realised he was holding, trying to keep his irritation at bay.

She didn't want to upset him. "Please Finn. Don't. I'm OK. Really!"

"You don't have to pretend with me Clarke. You weren't OK yesterday. You were sobbing your heart out. You've been through so much. It's only natural to be confused. But you're safe now, and I'm here for you. We're together again. That's all that matters."

She didn't say anything, she wouldn't even look at him anymore. And somehow she seemed to have shifted even further away from him – if that were even possible in the tiny bed.

He was now incapable of keeping the frustration-turned-anger from his voice. "What's wrong Clarke? Why won't you talk to me? You know you can tell me anything, right?" He studied her, trying to work out what she was thinking... "You clearly didn't have any problem exposing yourself to Bellamy last night."

She glanced up, startled. Bitterness had distorted his face. "Got you attention?"

There was a sour triumph in his voice now. "What the hell Clarke! You could barely stand the guy before! ... Did he make you feel special?" he sneered. "Suddenly he shows you a bit of attention and you're just like one of those other sluts who used to fawn all over him."

She blanched.

He'd crossed a line – left it for dust – and he knew it.

"You should leave."

He desperately tried to backtrack. "Look, I'm sorry Clarke. I didn't mean that. It's just… You need to hear this Clarke, alright? You have to listen to me… He doesn't care about you like I do. I love you. I'm in love with you. You have to know that… And I know he's not the jerk he was before, but that doesn't mean he actually-"

"I said get out Finn." She said more firmly. "Now."

He didn't move, trying urgently to work out how he could fix this… make her understand…

A hand gripped his shoulder painfully – _Bellamy – Shit!_ "You heard the lady," he said darkly, "I think Clarke made herself pretty clear."

* * *

><p>"Hey Griffin…" Raven strolled in, taking a seat, and kicking her feet up on the bed. "So this is where you've been hiding. No wonder… you look awful."<p>

"It's good to see you too Reyes!"

"But seriously Clarke, you don't look much better than I did after your Mom took the bullet out. You need to get out… fresh air, sunlight, exercise… all that stuff. Have you even seen the camp yet?"

"Nope. Only these four walls – and I'm getting pretty tired of them if I'm honest."

"Well you only have to ask and I'll give you the grand tour. It's pretty damn cool you know. You can see parts of the ship that you would have had to spacewalk for. And we're right by the lake. We could go for a dip if you feel up for it."

"So there aren't any giant sea serpents in this one then?"

"All clear. Although there are some pretty weird fish that surface at night."

Raven put her feet on the floor and leant in to talk to Clarke properly.

"Look. I've been where you are. Your Mom says you've been well enough to leave for a few days now. I know it can be pretty damn scary to get back out there. You're sick of these walls but you know you're safe here – you know you don't have to deal with the crap going on out there so long as you have them to hide behind. Am I right?"

Clarke nodded.

"Well you don't have to face it on your own. You've got me and Bellamy and Jasper and Monty and Octavia and Miller and Jackson and your Mom. Even Anya! We're all here for you. But they don't get it like I do. They haven't had to force themselves back out there to face everything – OK maybe Jasper did too, from what I've heard about the spear thing – but I've got your back on this one. OK?"

"OK."

"Great! And if I know anything about you Clarke, it's that you worry more about everyone else than you do about looking after yourself. So I'm going to come back later, and we're going to do a tour of Camp Jaha – not because it'll be good for you, but because it's about time you pulled your weight around camp!" She stood up and headed back outside.

"Your Mom might be a kick ass doctor, but she's not our medic," she called behind her as she walked out the door, popping her head back round to give her a cheeky wink. "Plus… the kids really miss you…"

* * *

><p>"Did I teach you nothing big brother!"<p>

He looked at her blankly.

"You've got to give - her - some - space," she said really slowly, just to make sure he got it.

"I know she thinks she needs you, but she's going to have to face the world without you sometime. If you don't back off you'll smother her eventually. You can't protect her from everything – and soon enough she won't want you to."

She was right… of course she was right! He just couldn't work out how he was supposed to respond to that.

"I know you miss the old Clarke – the one you fought so dammed hard to get back. Well she's right there… but you're trying so hard to help her that you're actually stopping her from coming back… And believe me, when she does return to her full badass glory, she won't appreciate having an overbearing, overprotective Bellamy Blake watching her every move like a possessive guard dog any more than I used to! You can't shield her from everything, and she won't thank you if you try… you're gonna have to let her stumble so she can remember how the hell she used to pick herself back up. OK?"

Frankly, he was still too dumbfounded to form a response. She continued.

"And look how well I turned out once you took the reins off!" She grinned, gesturing at her attire – Grounder-chic as she liked to call it. His baby sister was quite a sight… with her hair all tussled and mud on her cheek, brandishing a knife, with her latest kill casually slung over her shoulder.

He couldn't help but grin back, and was unable to resist the urge to ruffle her hair. "Since when did you become so wise, huh?"

* * *

><p>Jasper bounced up on his toes excitedly when he caught sight of Clarke coming out of the Ark with Raven, waving frantically and then pointing Monty in her direction when she didn't see them right away.<p>

"Mom I want you to meet, Clarke," said Monty proudly, pushing her towards the woman who was stood next to Jasper.

She held out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you Mrs Green… I was sorry to hear about your husband."

_Woah!_ Suddenly she was being hugged tight by a tiny woman who was almost in tears. "Thank you for saving my boys," she whispered.

Blushing furiously, Clarke patted her back awkwardly. "It's what anyone would have done… and believe me, we wouldn't be here without Monty and Jasper!"

* * *

><p>Bellamy watched her anxiously from afar. Everyone was so excited to see her; they all wanted to greet her. She was looking more and more overwhelmed with each new encounter. It took everything in his power to resist the urge to step in and shield her from the full impact of the attention.<p>

Thankfully Miller had also noticed that she'd begun to flag. He manoeuvred her over to sit by the fire. People still hovered round her, but she'd found a second wind.

It was hardest to watch her interaction with Abby. The initial relief at finding her alive had passed, and now that Clarke was on the mend, so too had the universal need of a vulnerable child for their Mom. They had a lot that needed to be said, but hadn't found the strength to say it yet. _Parting with a hug… that's progress at least!_

As Clarke began to lean a little more heavily against the wall, and as her eyes began to droop, Bellamy finally gave himself permission to go over to her. _That's enough space for one day!_

* * *

><p>"I miss the wall" she sighed wistfully. "I miss when life was simple and we only had to worry about preparing for winter or a Grounder attack…"<p>

"Sure Princess… real 'simple'!"

"You know what I mean… I miss when it was just you and me, building something great… together… giving them all hope." She rubbed her face with her hands as if that could somehow take the tiredness away. "They've been telling me what it's like… life here under Kane… as if they're all waiting for me to do something… But I don't know what they want from me… I can't do anything…"

She wasn't ready to carry the weight of their expectation just yet… and she'd forgotten, even as she rested her head on his shoulder, that she no longer had to carry the burden of leadership alone – once again there was someone with whom she could share the load.

"We did good there Clarke. We can do good again… You, me, and the kids…" She could hear the smile in his voice at that last part and looked up at him quizzically. "You do know they call us Mom and Dad right?"

She snorted "Oh God!... I'm only 17! I'm way too young to be a Mom... let alone to fifty-odd teenagers!"

"Well I'm too young to be their Dad, but we're all most of them have got now Princess… And then there's the Grounders you've adopted…"

They fell into a companionable silence. _This is nice_, she thought.

"Why didn't we do this before?"

"Do what Princess?"

She kicked at the earth with her foot. "I don't know… This… Just sitting by the fire, doing nothing in particular."

"Hmm. Well let's see… I hated you, and you couldn't bear to be around me… and then when we could just about stand one another we didn't really have the luxury of time off."

"Yeah," she smiled fondly, "that sounds about right… you were a gigantic pain in the ass."

"And I thought you were a spoilt little know-it-all," he teased.

She sighed. "Do you think we can do it again Bell? … Be in charge I mean. We didn't have a choice before. But now… Kane might be a total nightmare, but at least they are actually safe here. There's food, shelter, patrols…"

"…low morale, inequality, prejudice, essentially a dictatorship," he finished for her.

"But we don't have to be the ones in charge anymore. Someone else has to make the rules. Aren't you glad it's not us having to make all the decisions for a change?"

"But that's where we were good… great even! I know it was hard, especially at first, but we balanced each other out. We made the right decisions – or the best possible ones at least – because we made them together. Kane won't listen to anyone else. Trust me Clarke, now you're well enough, it won't take you long to see where we're headed unless something changes."

"And I guess we have to be that something?"

"I don't see anyone else stepping up."

"I still don't see what they expect us to do though? They're all looking to me as though I've got some brilliant plan."

"Well I was kind of hoping…"

She elbowed him in the ribs. "Don't you start too! You're our Rebel King remember, shouldn't you come up with the plan!"

"How about we head to the sea… to Lincoln's friends like before?"

"Whose 'we' though? Do we take all of the kids? What about the ones with parents?... What about the Grounders?... Or people from the Ark whose children weren't delinquents like me? Do you think any of them would want to come with us?"

"Maybe? But I imagine Kane would put up more of a fight if they tried to join us – it would be a bigger threat to his authority. He still sees the kids as criminals so he might be more willing to let them go with us? That's assuming of course that he'd let anyone leave at all."

The thought of any kind of journey, even back to the ward, was utterly exhausting to Clarke at that moment… "What if we didn't go anywhere? What if we just took Camp Jaha over instead?"

"How would you manage that? He's not just going step down and make us the new Chancellors. Plus he's got guards… with guns… And I don't think either of us wants another war."

"There must be a way we can fix this," she yawned, "without having to split everyone up." She could barely keep her eyes open. "But can we figure it out later? I really need to go to bed."

"Whenever you're ready Princess." He picked her up gently and carried her back inside. "Let's get you back to bed… it's been a long day."

Bellamy placed her gently on the mattress, resisting the urge to crawl in beside her, chuckling as she grabbed the pillow and hugged it to her, trying to get comfortable. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to hold her in the dark, and to listen as her breathing slowed until she fell asleep in his arms once again. But Octavia's earlier warning played on his mind. _Give her some space. _

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and planted a quick kiss on her cheek before reluctantly heading to his own bed. "Goodnight Clarke."

She was already fast asleep.

* * *

><p>He woke up to a mess of blonde hair and Clarke in his bed. "Sorry Bell," she whispered, "I didn't mean to wake you."<p>

He was a little disorientated. "What time is it?"

"About 6:30 I think." A soft pink flushed her cheeks and she couldn't quite meet his eyes as she added, "I missed you last night."

He shifted slightly, propping himself up on one elbow, the small difference making it feel as though he was leaning over her. She was suddenly aware of just how close they were. She managed to return his gaze, only to watch his eyes travel to her lips, which were parted slightly as she unconsciously held her breath.

His eyes flicked back to hers. She tried to read his expression. Frankly, he looked apprehensive. Was he nervous? It was as though his eyes were seeking something in her own. Permission?

She gave the slightest of nods. He gave her the most exhilarating of smiles. She felt she would melt from its heat.

He brushed her cheek… grazed her lips with his thumb… trailed his fingertips along her collar bone… leaving a scorching trail in the wake of each small touch, their traces ebbing to a tingle as he lit a new blaze elsewhere.

_For the love of God kiss me already!_ He read it in her gaze, a smile twitching the corner of his mouth, as he lifted her chin, hovering just above her lips.

_Ungh!_ Impatient, she tangled her fingers in his hair and pulled him in for a searing kiss.

It took her breath away, and not just because he'd pressed her into the mattress, kissing her so thoroughly that they were both a little light-headed when they surfaced.

_Finally! _"Any idea why we never did that before?"

"Not a clue!" he replied before diving in for another kiss. And another…


End file.
